yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
