$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
