mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
