i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
