no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
