We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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