she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
