Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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