Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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