You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
honey bunches of taint.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
