Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
