I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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