listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
