What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
