just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
