I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
