Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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