I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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