I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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