ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
