And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How's work?
Spinning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
