Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize