you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
