dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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