whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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