Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
