If i come over, it means nothing
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
