I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize