Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
