i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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