Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
