Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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