I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
