Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
