I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
