How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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