We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
