what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
