omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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