I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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