i just wanna soil my oats bro
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let's paint friendship bongs
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
