we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He better not be in your backpack
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize