I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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