She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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