You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
