get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Everything about him screamed your future.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize