They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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