I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
God gave him joint rollers for hands
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
