Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
