I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
