Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
