MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
