do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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