The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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