Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
