big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
