Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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