chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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