Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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