swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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