It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
