You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
