You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
