Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
