Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
