I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
