Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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