he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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