Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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